Clog Standoff: Hour 8
June 20th, 2006
A man should have the right to wear his clogs. In the marriage contract, I believe clogs are included in the “good times and bad” section.
I’m going to hire an army of protestors to picket the house chanting:
“We’re here,
We’re …
We’re wearing clogs
Get used to it.”
Actually, not sure about the exact wording of the chant, but by Gaia there will be a reckoning.
For the record, Chuck is fine since wearing the clogs. My delicate feelings, however, are bruised. o
June 20th, 2006 at 4:12 pm
Unfortunately, I think my husband would side with your wife on this one. He’s not the biggest fan of clogs, but since I’m on my feet a lot, I live in Danskos. He’s just learned to live with it.
Viva la clog!
June 20th, 2006 at 4:13 pm
Unfortunately, this moment comes in every marriage. For me, it was my collection of concert crew t-shirts… Yes, they were older than many people we knew, and the collars were slowly dissolving in the wash… Yes, the black ones were only dark grey, and the white ones were a slightly lighter grey… Yes, the bands and acts portrayed have long since broken up, and/or died of natural causes…
However, they were MINE! Which means that they should not have been disposed of without my consent.
Tell Heather that she is a “Bad Dooce, a bad bad willful Dooce!” and she deserves a spanking!
June 20th, 2006 at 4:16 pm
I love clogs. I used to buy shoes for cuteness rather than comfort (although I think clogs are supercute), and spent most of my time avoiding wearing shoes because of this. Luckily my ever sensible husband encouraged the purchase of high quality shoes and I have been a happier person ever since.
June 20th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
Stay strong Jon!
I once gave away a great pair of jeans because he didn’t like them…I still regret it…
June 20th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
I think hiding her pink Frisco pumps would be fair retribution.
June 20th, 2006 at 4:45 pm
I won’t be surprised at all if my wifebeater t-shirts start to disappear from my dresser, and I smell fabric burning in the back yard. I have no form of retribution because…well, because I think all her clothes look hot on her.
Dammit, no leverage.
June 20th, 2006 at 4:57 pm
I agree with Dr. Tongue.
Its war, now.
June 20th, 2006 at 5:02 pm
Viva les clogs!! Power to the Blurb. I’ll chant in front of your house any day!
June 20th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
First she pronounces Crayons “crowns” now she attacks Crocs! She has gone too far! Has she ever tried them on? Does she know the soft cushy goodness of walking on marshmallow clouds that is Crocs? You should go buy some orange ones and get the little cutesy accessories.
June 20th, 2006 at 5:26 pm
Only hide her pink pumps if you are willing and able to deal with consequences of that. Trust me, there will be consequences, and they will be painful. I do however, support your right to wear clogs.
I guess that whole “I’m the man and in this house we will do as I SAY!!!” speech will not work, not if you want to get any lovin’ in the next 10 years of your and are willing to risk having the holy living shit beaten out of you for being so foolish as to think a tack like that might have affect….
Well, good luck man. Via con dios….
TK
June 20th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
She’s just playing a joke on you, right? I can’t believe Heather would do something so dastardly as to throw out your clogs. OTOH, a prank? That she would do.
June 20th, 2006 at 5:50 pm
A man on the radio today said that the mormon church owned Pespi! Have you been informed of that one? Apparently the biggest stockholder in Buffalo Rock are mormons. As if they have to answer a questionaire before purchasing their stock. Do you know of this? Mormons supporting caffine ingestion, what’s that about?
June 20th, 2006 at 6:10 pm
I suppose I’m delurking here, best of things for you, Heather and Leta.
I am also a fan of the clog, I have a pair of suede ones that are all fuzzy inside. It’s like walking in a teddy bear all day and I love them.
Now, I have never heard of “Danskos” so I googled them and I had to let you in on what I found, especially when I saw the web address. They happen to make a very funky, comfy looking pair of pink sandals that I’m sure you can work into your argument at some point.
http://www.lordjohnsfootwear.com If you click on the “Dansko” side bar, you’ll see the pink sandals.
Good luck!
June 20th, 2006 at 6:26 pm
Jon, I bought Mark a pair after seeing that you bought a pair. I am such a follower. He proudly wears them in the backyard only. So, I sympathize with you AND Heather. Rights for Clogs!!!!!
June 20th, 2006 at 6:53 pm
Perhaps it’s the public-ness of your clog wearing. I have heard that a lot of wives will accept closet clog wearing, so long as her friends don’t know about it.
June 20th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
Wow. It would take a boddhisatva to stay patient when the razor boys come and take your fancy things away. You know, she’s been saying she was a genius since she was seventeen, and you still don’t know what she means. You just want a name when you lose your clogs. You do your part — take out the garbage, change diapes — maybe you were a fool to do the dirty work.
Honestly, blurb, I can’t imagine how you’ll respond. . . .
June 20th, 2006 at 7:11 pm
I suspect Chuck is involved. Have you inspected to determine if there are WCD(weapons of clog destruction)? Let the shock and awe BEGIN
June 20th, 2006 at 7:17 pm
This is hilarious. There are definitely some opinions about clogs out there. I bought my first pair a few months ago -the most I’ve ever spent on a pair of shoes- to wear at the hospital on my 16 hour shifts. My mom thinks that are abominble (”your feet don’t look very graceful”).
If you are ever in a hospital and want to hunt down a doctor in the cafeteria (they’ll often take off their coats or cover up their scrubs so that you leave them in peace) just look for clogs. At least in California. All the doctors/residents/med students under 40 wear clogs. I think they come free with the stethoscopes, or vice versa…
June 20th, 2006 at 7:19 pm
A chant for your followers:
Weíre here
Weíre without fear
Weíre wearing clogs
They match our togs!
June 20th, 2006 at 7:43 pm
Here in B.C. (Canada), they’re for sale in every dollar store in violent colours. I saw a woman downtown today wearing BRIGHT yellow clogs, walking splay-footed. She looked like a duck. (No offense, Jon — at least yours are the right colour.)
June 20th, 2006 at 7:43 pm
Ummm… isn’t it obvious to rhyme ‘clogs’ with ‘dogs?’
I’m just no good at the protest chant thing. Can’t do haikus either. Don’t limit me like that man. Maybe some protest iambic pentameter though.
I own clogs. I just don’t wear them. I’m afraid if I do the next step will be wearing them with white socks and too-short jeans and… well, there’s just no going back from that.
June 20th, 2006 at 7:45 pm
The Clog Watch - 2006
Hysterical. seriously.
As a 4 pair of dansko owner, I completely empathize. However, my husband is not so brave as to hide them. That, and he’s a crappy hider.
Best of luck, and if all else fails, you could always start dressing Leta in baby-clogs…
June 20th, 2006 at 8:07 pm
Should we look into Team Clog and Team Heather t-shirts?
(I’m on Team Clog for this round.)
June 20th, 2006 at 8:42 pm
i am with you jon. a man has his right to the footwear of his choice; be it clogs, flip-flops, or the occasional pump.
FREE {THE} CLOGS!
June 20th, 2006 at 8:45 pm
Look for the clogs
That match your togs
Please donít be sad
And donít be mad
Theyíre in a bog
With rotting logs
They soon will be
A meal for hogs